Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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