Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize