she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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