i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
