8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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