I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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