So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This is my gift to your gina
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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