he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
