i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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