I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
