I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this hospital has no fireball
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
