Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
