Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
