I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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