Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
