Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We smell like vodka and hangover
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