Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
