Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
