I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
