Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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