How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
