Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
