Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
