It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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