I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
