Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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