she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
