Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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