mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
