You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize