..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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