I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
