She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
