I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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