who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
