Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
