I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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