I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
