I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
