I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
