okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
