somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
