is your mom at the bar?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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