She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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