Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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