oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
