What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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