Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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