This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
