Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
