K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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