I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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