Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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