I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
