please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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