I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
