4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Houston, we have a blender
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
