Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
