where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize