Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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