what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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