What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I didn't notice because vodka
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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