I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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