Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
