Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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