You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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