booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
